Wills and humour

How to make a last Will and testament get the last laugh

Here are some hilarious quotations from past wills. Enjoy - and if you have quotes of your own about Wills, get in touch and we'll add it to our quotes page:

Bitter Wills
Anthony Scott, in his last will and testament wrote: 'To my first wife Sue, whom I always promised to mention in my will. Hello Sue!'

Conditional Wills
The last will and testament of Edith S of Walsall included £50,000 to each of her children, Roger, Helen and Patricia. Their inheritance was not to be spent on 'slow horses and fast women and only a very small amount on booze'.

Gaffs in Wills
One well-meaning will maker gave a legacy to 'The Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds".
By bizzarr co-incidence, Frank Clifford's last will and testament included a legacy to the 'Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals'

Mad Wills
Charles P of Bangor, North Wales left his real estate in his will to BEN, the motor and Allied Trades Benevolent Fund. This quote from his last will and testament reads "I wish to be buried in a coffin linked with perspex and filled with industrial alcohol, and he stated "I abdicate a title 'King Charles I of Wales' which I claimed in 1977"

Tipsy Wills
A quote from the will of Roger Morris of Penzance who gave £250 for the RNLI "to be spent on a booze-up for the members and helpers of the Penlee lifeboat crew."

Caustic Wills
Sara Clarke of Bournmouth directed in here will: To my daughter, I leave £1 - for the kindness and love she has never shown me.

Warm Wills
"I give to Stonyhurst Jesuits the sum of £500 for the purchase of thermal underwear" - Rosaleen S's last will testament, West Yorkshire."

Odd Wills
"…and my ashes shall be handed to Susan H to be scattered in the Chihuahua ring at the Three Counties Show after judging has taken place. - Last will and testament of Irene Y of Swindon".

Surprising Wills
"…and I give the residue (estimated value £1.9 million) to the National Debt Commissioners for the relief of the National Debts"

Cheeky Wills
Another last will with a last laugh: "I wish peace and affluence to all my friends and a piece of effluence to all my enemies"

Wills can contain conditons
In Henry Budd's last will and testament he left £200,000 in 1862 in trust for his two sons on the condition that neither grow a moustache. In another Will, Matthias Flemming shared his dislike. He left his employees £10 each in 1869; those with moustaches only got £5 however.

Innumerate Wills
Wills can contain pure gaffs. In his will Philip Hall, professor of pure mathematics, managed to make 2+2+5 =10.

Vengeful Wills
One man left his employer one shilling to buy a book on manners.

Religious Wills
Norman Earnest Digweed's will entered the hall of famous wills when he directed that his estate of £26,000 be placed in trust for 80 years for Jesus Christ should he return within that time. Quite a number of people came forward to claim the estate which nevertheless passed to the crown after the 80 years was up in 1977.

Wills going bananas
One rather simple woman made a home made will nominating a 'Doctor Banana' to receive a legacy.

Feline Wills
One cat-loving lady left her whole house to be used to provide for her cat. The lady's funeral was to be held on a clear summers day, and her cat was sunning itself lazily on the drive outside when sadly it was run over by the hearse.

…And canine Wills
Miss Amy T of Doncaster left £500 to the Doncaster Branch of the RSPCA, requesting it be used to provide dinners at Christmas for dogs in their care.

So go on now, and make yours.

Wills can be a laugh, but what is more worrying is that many people procrastinate with their wills. Thousands of people die each year without having made their wills. And in many cases, the State will benefit while their families and friends lose out. Just click here for your free trial. Source: We would like to thank Smee & Ford, Solicitors, from whom many of these quotes originate.